Learning to give yourself grace
So often we find it in ourselves to offer forgiveness to others or maybe patience and even grace. When it comes to me I know I am good at all those things when it comes to others, but when it is time to show myself these things, it isn’t as easy. This week when I tried to be the “fun” mom again, (like I remember being with Eric and Evan) I pretty much failed, but I succeeded at something I normally don’t. I gave myself what I normally only save for others… GRACE
The kids had off Monday and I have so many memories of doing things with the older two when they had off school but lately I am so wrapped up with other things in my own head that I sometimes feel like I forget to have fun. Instead of having a YES day, which Ella asks for often, we searched Pinterest to find something to do on the day off. Now if you are into Pinterest fails, by all means keep reading.
Ella found a treat to make herself and it was such a cute idea, seemed easy enough and something she could do with minimal help, so I said “let’s go”! Time to make our own fruit roll up snacks! We got the ingredients, and everything went smooth. She cut the berries and used the food processor to mix them with some honey. She spread out the parchment paper on the cookie sheet, poured and spread the fruit mixture on the tray. it looked just like it did online and smelled great. Now time to cook and then enjoy.
Three hours later (in my SpongeBob voice) we checked the oven and it wasn’t ready so we kept it in another hour, then another hour and by now, the day was almost done and it was time to cook dinner. I don’t remember when we took it out, but the sides looked pretty good, BUT, I realized the middle never set! I was not about to keep it in the oven for the rest of the night so we just peeled off the ends and tried to salvage something.
YUK! That was how Ella described it and that was it! She didn’t want it, and wasn’t about to eat it. Now, I thought it was ok but it did not even meet Eric’s standards and after a bite, I realized it would soon end up in the trash.
I was feeling bad and bummed out, then I said some not so nice things to myself, but in the end I ended up giving myself some grace. I chose to be loving to myself even when I really didn’t want to.
To learn to be as kind to yourself as you are to others isn’t easy, yet It is easy to put yourself down and have negative self talk but I am a work in progress and trying to learn every day that this life is hard and I need to give myself grace along the way.
Fear Not 
Did she enjoy the getting to try something like that though even though it might not have turned out? I’m glad you were able to give yourself grace and hopefully she enjoyed doing something out of the box too. Bummer it didn’t turn out!