Is God good all of the time or only when we get what we pray for?
Tonight I read a post about a child who was going through a surgery and the author of the post (assuming it was a parent) said their faith has been tested through all of this but thankfully the surgery was a success and God is so so good.
My question is this, is God good because the surgery was a success and life will move on like you expect. Is God good because nothing happened to your child and there were no complications? How often do I read God is so good after a not so good situation, or an ending that is less that we desired? Is God only worthy of praise and being “good” when we get the outcome that we have been on our knees praying for?
In my 48 years on this earth a lot has not gone my way. From as early as I remember I have prayed to be relieved of so many things. Some of course were answered but many are still being prayed for today. That is why that statement has always bothered me – If I only thought God was good when I got what I wanted, then I most likely wouldn’t have a relationship with my God today. People get cured from cancer and God is good, kids recover from the unthinkable and God is so good. I don’t hear too often (although there are some times) how good God (still) is when they lose a child, or when their cancer isn’t gone, what about when their baby is born less than perfect or they are given a life that they just can’t handle? Is God still good or only when the end result suits us?
As I watch Eli lose the ability to hold himself up and walk, as I see Ella’s feet continue to turn in, I know some dark days lie ahead. I know that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a good light but a train coming at us. I know that my tears will continue to be plenty in the future BUT despite this, I also know that God is good!
I remember after the kids were diagnosed I chose to get baptized one day at church. This was before we even knew Milan would see us for an evaluation. I remember sitting in church crying during some sappy song as I did every week, then thinking about my relationship with God. I wondered how I would feel if we would lose both of our kids to this disease and how I would feel about God then. The day I chose to get baptized I chose to believe in God’s plan no matter what. I didn’t want to think God was only good if they would be saved and lived. God was good and this was my way to show not necessarily him but me that I believed in his plan and not just because of what he did or what he was going to do for my family.
I will never understand the why to so many things in life and just this morning I cried to Hut about watching Eli struggle and the pain of helplessness I feel. The knowledge that I will never understand “why” is hard but without a doubt I do believe that there is a bigger plan and purpose that I am just not privy to. More importantly I believe that God is STILL good despite the tears, anguish and pain of watching two of my kids be robbed of the simplest of things.
Maybe you have never needed God like I have. Maybe you have never needed him to help you get through another day just so “hopefully” tomorrow is a better day than the day before. Maybe you have only needed to be on your knees in prayer minimally in the course of your life. If that is the case, count yourself lucky they might say but for me God draws me close through my pain. He knows my heart and has blessed me with so much. I’m not sure if I would see all the blessings without all the pain. I do know that God works through Eli in such a way that I am given what I need and it comes at the perfect time.
For me, God IS good and it’s not contingent on what I am given. I may not understand his ways but I trust in the goodness that I witness on a daily basis, most of which has come from my darkest days.
Fear Not 
Your writing is a blessing. God is good. God is good all the time!