It’s not your fault… and it’s not mine either
It’s not your fault
As I reflect on Rare Disease Day, I hope you know that it’s not your fault.
To all of those who may have felt like I ever directed any anger at them over Eli and Ella not being included in something, it’s not your fault.
To those that had to hear me complain as we have felt left out of so many things over the years, it’s not your fault.
To Eric and Evan who have witnessed my sorrow and anger on more than one occasion, it’s not your fault.
To my family who has listened to me cry and vent about our life and the challenges we face daily, it’s not your fault.
I am so grateful for the support over the years, we have been covered in love in so many ways. This journey has been the most excruciating journey I could have ever imagined, and I know it’s not going to get better. Just know, that none of it is your fault.
Most importantly, I would like to remind myself and Hut that none of this is our fault. We were dealt a shitty hand and we are doing the best we can.
I have been so forgiving of anyone and everyone else in my life, yet somehow I haven’t been able to completely forgive myself for something that isn’t even my fault.
I will continue to work on loving myself as much as I do others, but if I ever made you feel like anything was your fault, it’s not. It’s a deep, indescribable pain that I am working through, and one day soon I hope I can truly believe that none of this is my fault.
Fear Not 