We are not different, we are unique
The last week of school we were driving to school and Eli was expressing to Ella how different he felt compared to his peers. God bless Ella, and I can still see her little finger waving in the air as she stated to Eli “don’t ever call us different, MLD doesn’t make us different, we are UNIQUE!! “ Then she proceeded to shush him saying anything other then that the rest of the ride. I was so proud of her and drove to school quietly with a smile across my face.
Ella recently went to Dorney Park on her end of the year 8th grade field trip. I met her and her small group there to spend the day together. As we started deciding what rides were first, we saw many of the 8th graders running around with their friends as we stayed with Ella’s learning support friends/class. It was a day that started with me wondering if she would want to be with her other peers that she saw freely running from ride to ride, to a day of me being so incredibly thankful to have been with the group we were with.
If you have never witnessed complete freedom in a 13-15 year old child you are missing out. Freedom from what they look like, who they are hanging out with, and freedom to be just who they are. This was my most favorite part of the day, watching these kids do things with no wonder or worry about what anyone else thought. They played in the water together like a bunch of kids without a worry. Went on rides together supporting and encouraging their classmates. They are accepted for who they are and it showed that day! No judgement! Another moment that will stand out, was watching the teachers with them. You rarely get to see the side of teachers that we saw that day, but we were lucky and were able to see their joy in helping the kids, going on the rides with them and also seeing a guard lowered, because that is what these special kids do! They help turn you into the best version of yourself if you allow them! That is what I witnessed!
So today, in an email, the school sent out pictures that were taken at the Jr. Prom. There were quite a few good ones of Eli with his friends. They gave me the biggest smile looking at him on the dance floor with no reservations or worry about what others thought. He clearly was just living in the moment, enjoying his Prom. No worries, as Eli would say.
They will always be unique as Ella put it, and I believe through their uniqueness they will continue to teach lessons about life, and love to those they have the pleasure of crossing paths with in this lifetime.
I hope that everyone gets the chance to befriend someone special or unique, and see their differences as a gift, realizing there can be so much to learn, and so many smiles waiting for you if you are only open to it.
I will never forget reading this quote from Dr. Frank Oski in a book called Parting Visions years before the kids were diagnosed. This is just part of the quote but it has always stayed with me… even more so the last eleven years.
As a medical student Oski was enthusiastic about the potential of modern medicine, but frustrated by the fact that children die of congenital defects that are beyond anyone’s control. One night he went to bed pondering the fate of a dying patient. Although he was doing his best, the child was not improving. He felt powerless to help and went to sleep wondering why this child had to die. About an hour after falling asleep Oski was awakened by a bright light, one that shone in his room like a private sun. Oski could make out the form of a woman in the glow of the intense light. She had wings on her back and was approximately twenty years old.
In a quiet and reassuring voice the woman explained to the speechless Oski why it was that children had to die: “The angel (I don’t know what else to call her) said that life is an endless cycle of improvements and that humans are not perfect yet. She said that most people have this secret revealed to them when they die, but that handicapped children often know this and endure their problems without complaining because they know that their burdens will pass. Some of these children, she said, have even been given the challenge of teaching the rest of us how to love. It stretches our own humanity to love a child who is less than perfect,” said the angel. “And that is an important lesson for us.”
I will choose to believe that this is just a part of their purpose here, and I believe that they are fulfilling that purpose in all that they do! Being UNIQUE every single day!!
“What sets you apart can sometimes feel like a burden, and it’s not. And a lot of the time, it’s what makes you great.” – Emma Stone
Fear Not 
These pictures make me smile! They capture a moment in time when people are including everyone! So glad you are writing about Eli and Ella’s journey and shedding light on how we can look at things from different angles and see what God is doing to make us all better people. Thanks!
Thank you Maureen! You and Conor are thought of more than you know and everything you have taught me, finding the good and purpose in pain.
Thank you!