The simple things
It’s funny the things that I have learned to enjoy so much more now than ever before. Tonight I stopped on the side of the road by my church to witness the beautiful sunset. Two nights ago I saw a sunset driving up 422…as we were driving up 422 we pulled over, I told Evan I wanted to take a picture…as we were waiting for a lull in the passing cars, Evan was saying that the sunset looked like a river with mountains behind it. I put myself in his mind and I saw the same thing… the beauty of the simple things that we take for granted every day was right in front of me and I was taking it all in.
I think in life it is natural to take things for granted…Every single thing in life can be taken for granted. The electric when we are without from a storm, clean water …when you are watching a special about so many children in the world who go without. Shoes… check out Soles for Souls to realize just how many go without such a simple thing as shoes. Food… do you know that according to CNN obesity is now a worse crisis than hunger?? We obviously have taken food for granted…Smaller things are taken for granted too… a smile, a hug, a sunset, a kiss, maybe just the touch of your child’s hand as they are falling asleep next to you.
Funny thing for me right now is I am trying to enjoy everything and, as one friend says “find the balance” . I am trying to find the balance of so many different things and for anyone who has ever been there they know it is not easy. I want life to stop or at least slow down so I can truly enjoy every single moment that comes my way.
Christmas is almost here and I have nothing done (except my house thanks to some amazing people) I am normally so on the ball with this stuff but for some reason I just don’t seem to care this year. No tree yet…hopefully this weekend…no card done…oh well I’ll get to it. To be honest I don’t want Christmas to come. After Christmas the New Year will be here and how could the New Year be any worse than this year? Well, it could be and I don’t want to go there. I want to focus on today and that is it.
This week I found myself in Staples buying a voice recorder. As I was searching for the best one I remember asking the guy about voice quality…I just love Eli’s precious voice and I want to be able to hold on to that forever if…..the if I do not want to finish but I am sure you get where I am going. Which one could record the most and can I transfer it to my computer..…really? Am I really preparing myself for the day that I might never hear Eli or Ella’s voice again? THIS IS NUTS!!!!! Yet, here is another thing I have oh so taken for granted…their cries, laughter, screams & joy that has come from their mouth. The calls of Mom, mommm,mmmoooommmmmm…over and over till I answer them. What a wonderful word that I will NEVER take for granted again. I am prepared! NO REGRETS!! That is how I live my life.
At times when I look at Eli & Ella I really can’t believe they have this dreaded disease. They are both these perfect little people in these perfect little bodies. Every morning that they wake up, it is a true gift when they come down as happy and as healthy as they went to bed. Phewww…it should be another good day. The disease is not winning…THEY ARE… and I believe they will continue to win!
Fear Not 
You are one strong woman that i will learn from and continue to learn from. When God gives you something difficult in your life you just have faith and look for him for help and guidance and STRENGH to continue the journey…your kids are so fortunate to have a mom like you to fight for them and to try to see “good” when it’s bad!!! You are just a human being like all of us…. and I’m sure you experience weak times,anger…or you feeling like giving up the whole fight….but you look for the good and you teach me to see things in my life that maybe i overlook or don’t appreciate……i continue to pray and hope for the best for your little babies…..you all have touched my heart greatly…..don’t give up!!
Thank you so much for your kind words… I definitely feel all thse emotions and I get really upset that this is happening yet somewhere in me I KNOW there is a plan. Thank you for your prayers and support and believing with us!! Xoxo
Becky, It is so hard to slow down and smell the roses, we get so busy, etc. and I don’t have any little kids any more. As I say everytime I read what you wrote, you blow me away – your Dad is probably up there telling everyone how special you are, but he already knew that. I love you and we will get together one of these days. You and Hut have so much to be proud of – you are a great example for your family and friends. Love ya, Aunt Anne
Awww… thank you so much Aunt Anne… I think of you often & hope you are doing well. I love you and thank you for your continued support! Xoxo