Fear Not

I have been writing a bit about each of my kids and as I walked into Evan’s room, saw him sitting at his desk praying I thought today was the day to write about him.

Some people may be fortunate enough to have seen the side of Evan that I am most proud of…the loving, caring & sensitive child who loves God and who is compassionate beyond his 11 years.  I have been blessed to be his Mom and watch him grow into this amazing young man.

Evan came into the world on June 25th 2001 at @7:30 in the evening. We did not know we were having another boy and we were all happy when he joined big brother Eric. As we were still grieving the loss of my father in law 2 months prior, Evan definitely lifted everyone’s spirits when he came into the world. I remember looking at him when they first handed him to me and he had this little birth mark right over his heart. It made me feel like my father in law knew him ( he died from heart disease) and so we named his middle name Albert after him. After a short stay at the hospital we were on our way to start our life with two little Vivian boys.

Life with Evan was pretty easy from the beginning. He sucked his thumb so he was always a good sleeper and that always makes life easier. I knew from early on that he was a pleaser…he always loved when he made me smile, or anyone else for that matter.

As Evan grew I started to realize who he was and what special gifts he came to this world with. He would want to pray a lot and ask me about God and why certain things had to happen. I told him (as I tell all my kids) that God has such a plan for him…but for Evan I knew it was going to be different. How many times in life does a kid come along that has such compassion for the world that he would do anything to change it? I know it happens but I don’t have the pleasure of seeing it too often. On the first night that American Idol ever had the Idol gives back show, we sat there and watched and cried about all the sadness all over the world. The children that they showed from Haiti to our own country who were without so many things that we all take for granted every single day…Evan was heartbroken. He went up and got whatever money he could and brought it down so we could pledge that and some.This was not a one time thing for Evan…he truly lives his life like this …thinking of others first.

When Evan goes anywhere from an amusement park to a store that has a crane game, his idea is always to win something for one of his siblings. Sometimes I have to admit I get frustrated because I want him to do something for himself but it never shocks me when Ella or Eli says that Evan won this and gave it to me. This world is typically not made for those with such a soft heart. I know this first hand and when you feel others pain it is not always a good thing…you need to learn to separate yourself from situations that you truly have no control over. Sadness is part of this world but when you let it in too often it can take over and no good will come from that. Balance is the key and that is what I try to teach Evan.

This past July Donna took us all ( 23 of us) to Barbados to sprinkle my Dad’s ashes in the ocean. It was a beautiful trip and we made some great memories. The day we went on the boat to say goodbye I am sure there were many mixed emotions all around but we were all together & that is what mattered. As we were saying our goodbyes I looked over and saw that Evan was comforting Donna. He sat down next to her and started hugging her and rubbing her back. It was so very comforting to me to watch him try & comfort her when she needed it most. I think he also came up to me every 15 minutes on that boat ride just to make sure I was o.k. Whenever he saw a tear in my eye he would wrap his arms around me just to say “It’s ok Mom, Fuzzy Poppop is with you & he always will be” Sometimes I was not even crying but he must have had an idea I was thinking of him and he was always there when I needed it. God Bless his little soul. What a gift!

As I said at the beginning I went upstairs today to find Evan praying so I asked him what he was praying for. He told me he was praying that we would find a cure for this horrible disease… he told me he does not want to picture a funeral for Eli or Ella so he will just believe that we will get them treatment and they will live a long healthy life. I had to walk out after a minute so he would not see me cry but when I went back he was up in Eli’s top bunk with him. Eli had gotten hurt down stairs with the big kids and ran up to his room crying… of course that is where Evan would be…consoling Eli and turning that cry into a laugh. Not surprising at all and never taken for granted…he is a gift and I am forever grateful!

~ by Rebecca on November 25, 2012.

Posted in Diagnosed