Eli Thomas

This post is one of the hardest for me to write so far. My precious Eli, my 3rd born Son…The one who gave me hell from almost the minute he came out of me. Anyone who has known me from the time Eli was born pretty much has a good idea of the highs and lows  our relationship has endured from the beginning. It was never easy with him but it has been the most rewarding relationship I could imagine…Thanks be to God for patience!!!

Eli came into the world on Sept 3rd 2005..knowing that Dr. D ( my favorite Dr.)was on call that day and I was past my due date just like I was with his brothers I asked him if he could induce me and he obliged. After a fairly uneventful labor, besides the pain from accepting no drugs (yes I am not smart) out he came.  All I remember seeing was that it was definitely another boy! Really?? Well I think I was disappointed for maybe a few minutes before I realized how truly blessed I was to have yet another beautiful baby boy! And I knew I would probably have one more anyway;) Right away I had this amazing bond with Eli and I remember calling Hut saying “this is going to be our easiest one yet” LOL!!!!!!! NOT!!!!!! Due to the fact that I HATE hospitals I tend to leave as soon as the 24 hours have passed from when the baby is born and this time was no different.

The best baby that I thought I had quickly started to show his other side..the head was spinning and it was out of control! I am sure you can relate to having a challenging child or one that makes you cry way too much! That was Eli… I am not one to hide my feelings as I am a very self honest person and boy oh boy did my friends and family hear about my “devil” child. I spent the first two years wearing out my vacuum, hairdryer & my Michael Buble cd (Birds Flying High, you know how I feel was Eli’s favorite) Not to mention the tears that were shed probably 5 out of 7 nights a week. As much as I was not a huge fan of his for quite sometime, he always had his own supporters. My sister-in-law (who was there when he was born…Love ya Meg) and my forever friend Holli…God bless them because they were always on Eli’s side!

Fast forward to shortly after Eli turned 3… I remember the tables started to turn, The child who never seemed comfortable in his own skin or happy to be here in this world, was finally starting to bond with me and I was truly grateful that we had finally gotten to where I wanted to be three years prior.

As time went on there always seemed to be moments that I felt something was not quite right with Eli and I shared this feeling with many…”I just know something is not right with him” I said that many times over, to anyone who wanted to listen. I remember taking him to our Doctor every few months, first for constipation, then just a feeling…of course nothing came up. He was challenging but no Autism, no ADD, no Diabetes…the list goes on and on. Eli was fine!  Yet my heart never let me believe that…it was always a bit heavy for Eli.

As Eli got older I really started to realize how special he was. I always made it a point to teach my kids the most important things in life such as think of others, have compassion, forgive, don’t judge and pray for others. Every night I say prayers with the kids and then we have “special prayers”  These are for all the sick people with either physically or spiritual issues. Friends who have lost children, neighbors and friends who need to keep cancer away. The kids have another “brother” Paul who is from Kenya and we were sponsoring him for quite sometime. Eli will pray for Paul every night that someday we can meet him and maybe he can come here with us. I did not have the heart to tell him that Paul is no longer in the program. Eli still prays and I cry… I really thought God put Paul in our life for a reason and Eli felt that too. Eli was so sad when his bus driver lost his job and he prayed like I have never seen him pray before for Tom. It broke my heart a little every night when I realized how sad he was and I remember how happy he was when he got the news that Tom got a new job! This kid is a gift!!

Having two big brothers there was always something to compare Eli to…not that Eric & Evan were amazing athletes but they could hold their own. Eli on the other hand was always a bit slower, could not kick as hard, seemed to tire quickly and definitely could not run as fast as his brothers (and speed is not the Vivian’s strong suit). He loves his video games and imaginary play and we always thought he was just going to be a bit different from Eric & Evan. Eli, God bless him has ALWAYS had to work so hard at everything that came natural to everyone else. I remember starting to teach him to ride a bike and how he wanted to do it so bad but it was like his brain would not allow him to do two things at one time…he could either steer or pedal but not both. I have lots of guilt about those days…yelling at him “Why can’t you just do it” “it’s so easy” When I look back I can see the pain in his eyes…the wanting so bad to do it but it just was not going to happen. I can’t let myself go there often because I beat myself up way too much!! I remember when Eli was at his Kindergarten field day at the end of the year, I went up to watch and as it was his turn to do the sac race that is when the tables turned for me and I knew something was wrong. As each child one by one got into his or her sac to run down to the cone and back, Eli was waiting for his turn, I watched as he was given the sac and it was very hard for him to get into. Something so simple as hopping down to the cone and back, Eli could not do.He could not hold the bag and hop… it just was not going to happen! I watched him struggle as the silent tears started to fall down my cheek realizing something was just not right. Thank God he did not get too frustrated and just took the bag off, ran with it in his hand and my tears went to laughter. This kid was one determined kid and boy do I love him so!! That is when my real journey started to find out what was wrong with him. Funny, I actually thought maybe it was a mild CP or something that a little Physical Therapy & Occupational therapy would help. Never in my wildest dreams did I think he had a fatal disease.

As I started this blog last night Eli was laying next to me in bed and had his precious arm wrapped around mine and his other under my arm…just holding on…that is why this is not finished until today. I just put the computer down and watched as he fell asleep holding on to me. A moment in time that 6 months ago I may have not paid too much attention to…now I am blessed to feel every finger as they tighten around me, every breath as he falls asleep takes on a new meaning. I pray I continue to appreciate every moment that I am given with Eli (and of course all my kids) and hopefully I will be able to watch him grow into the amazing person that I know he will become.


~ by Rebecca on November 11, 2012.

8 Responses to “Eli Thomas”

  1. Becky, I hope you really are trying not to go back in time and beat yourself up over anything. What parent has not been frustrated with their child? I watched you coach Eli and the rest of the kids for two years and you were amazing with him and with all of them. You were so patient and kind. I remember thinking about the fact that you had four kids, the older ones always having a game somewhere else at the fields and little Ella hanging out in the dugout, yet you never seemed frazzled…you took everything in stride. And you did it just so you could coach Eli and be with him. I wondered how you did it and how I could do it too! Now I see that it’s just who you are, so strong and such an amazing parent. Look at all you have done in such a short time to get the word out. Your kids don’t remember those parts of the past but they do remember all you have done for them and continue to do!

  2. Keep strong Becky! xoxo

  3. Good morning Becky, It is the little moments like those that we who have children with special needs appreciate. Maybe that is the biggest blessing that parents with “normal, healthy” children miss out on and take for granted. We know the value of their laughter, touch and everyday moments that so many just miss out on. Your a wonderful mother and I am sure with Gods help you will be able to watch him grown into an even more amazing person than he already is. May your memories build more each day…God Bless all of you…Love, Hugs and Prayers, Joan

  4. You truly, truly are an absolutely fantastic woman!! Praying hard everyday for all of you!!

  5. Eli has one awesome momma!!!!

  6. My heart goes out to you too.

  7. Hi Becky,
    I have been following your family’s fight on Facebook. Let me first just say that your children are all Sooo beautiful! You guys make some CUTE kids! I am a fellow blogger, taking people through the disease that has MY family by the throat, and I find myself relating to you more and more. I have a genetic disease, and each one of my four kids have 50 percent odds of developing it as well. When I read your blogs, I count my lucky stars that so far none of them are showing symptoms yet. I can’t imagine what you must be going through, yet i really believe in our power as mothers, to be able to keep going no matter what we face! So I know you’re doing a damn good job. Anyway, the real reason for my comment today is to tell you that I really appreciate your honesty about Eli being difficult. I think so many times, mothers force themselves to believe that they are doing something wrong, and therefore believe they have to be silent. My first baby was VERY difficult. She’s perfectly fine, and is blossoming into a beautiful young lady, but she just needed extra time and effort. I always tell other women about her, just so they are encouraged to never give up. My heart is in pieces realizing that your Eli really DID have something going on. I know no words could ever comfort you on the level that you desire, so just know that I am among the many who are hearing your story, and who care! Give those babies a.squeeze from me, and let them know that someone all the way from Texas is thinking about them!!

    • You are so kind with your words. Yes I have always been a very honest person & I honestly did not like Eli for a while it seems. Yet the gift he has given me from me being patient with him and loving him through it is such a blessing. I truly know he is a gift as are all kids but some ae here to teach us more than we could learn without them. I pray that your kids are all fine!!
      Thank you in Texas for praying for my family!!!


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